Tag: Travel Diary

  • The Weight of Invisible Things

    The Weight of Invisible Things

    After some time in Mozambique, crossing back into Zimbabwe felt like stepping into abundance. Markets were full, colors loud, fruit piled high in ways that felt almost theatrical after the dry austerity of the road behind me. The air carried a sense of movement, of possibility. I remember thinking that this was what relief looked like in physical form. Not dramatic, not loud. Just full tables and people going about their day.

    The Chimanimani Mountains stayed with me longer than most landscapes do. There was something deliberate about them, as if they had chosen to be there rather than simply ended up there. The light moved differently across those slopes. Mornings arrived quietly, without announcement, and the evenings seemed to fold themselves neatly into darkness.

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    At the hotel, I met white farmers who had left after Mugabe came to power. They told stories of departure with a strange mix of grievance and nostalgia. One of them mentioned that they had ended up in the United Arab Emirates, making moonshine of all things. That took a moment to process.

    We talked about Bulawayo. I asked how big the city was. Five thousand, one of them said casually. That puzzled me. I had imagined a place much larger.

    Oh, you mean those, he clarified when he saw my confusion.

    Those. The word hung there, stripped of decoration. It did not take long to understand that in his arithmetic, people who were not pink did not count as people at all. It was not shouted, not defended, not argued. Just stated, as if it were an obvious truth. I remember my quiet unease settling in. It became harder to relate to the stories I heard. Who was visible and who had been made invisible long before I arrived?

    Bulawayo itself faded quickly. But I met an American there whose company stayed with me. He said little about himself, and I was never quite sure what had brought him there. I did not ask. Yet somewhere in the conversation, the idea that life could unfold far outside familiar expectations began to feel less like a thought and more like a possibility.

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    Victoria Falls took my breath away in a way I had not thought possible. The scale refused to fit into the mind. The water did not simply fall. It roared, surged, and insisted on being noticed. Mist climbed into the sky like smoke from a fire too large to contain. Standing there felt less like sightseeing and more like witnessing something that existed entirely on its own terms.

    Later, after Kariba Lake, we took a canoe onto the Zambezi. The water moved slowly enough to feel calm, but never still. We swam in the river despite crocodiles and tiger fish, a decision that made sense only if you ignore logic and thrive on borrowed confidence. Our guide carried a calm that felt earned rather than performed. I trusted him because he moved like someone who understood the river, not someone trying to impress it.

    One night, deep in the dark, the guide woke me. Quietly, without urgency. He asked me to move a little to the side of the tree where I was sleeping. Just enough so I could see.

    On the other side stood a full-grown elephant.

    Not ten meters away. Massive. Still. And completely silent.

    I waited for the sound that should have followed something of that size. A step. A shift. The crack of a branch. But there was nothing. No vibration in the ground. No sound in the air. It did not walk so much as glide, moving slowly past the tree and into the darkness again, as if weight did not apply to it.

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    It stunned me more than it frightened me. Something that large should announce itself. Should demand attention. Instead, it moved as if it had no weight at all.

    One of those images that never fades, no matter how many years pass.

    I lay awake afterward, listening to the darkness settle again.

    This is the second part of a journey that began in Mozambique. The first part is here: Edges of the Journey

  • Edges of the Journey

    Edges of the Journey

    Mozambique on the ticket, though that meant little. Five days in Harare, three more in Chimoio. Christmas in Vila Manica. At the time it all seemed simple, like you could just plot it on paper, and the world would follow along.

    Oslo first. Grey winter light, thin and tired. Aeroflot east. Moscow. Snow like dust, not the fairytale kind. Immigration, too easy. I expected questions, suspicion, the drama of Cold War movies. Instead, a nod, a stamp, and I was through. I almost felt cheated.

    Aeroflot’s hotel had plain walls and muted tones. All assumptions undone. It was welcoming, but in a way that left me uncertain. I thought perhaps I was missing the real Moscow, that the silence pressing close was hiding something. I only realized later I’d left the hotel once without my passport. Note to self: let’s not do that again. At the time it felt daring, as if I had blended in which of course I had not. Looking back, it was just foolish.

    At the hotel I had a long conversation with a woman in a language I did not understand. I understood she was not too happy about Gorbachev and provided me with a Lenin coin as a reminder of better days. I imagined it was fate, or a secret sign. Really, she was probably just being kind. Still, I kept it, as though it held a clue.

    Red Square was closed. The Berlin wall was coming down. History in motion, and I thought I was part of it. More likely I was just in the way. I roamed the surrounding streets. Big and intimidating, but monumentally beautiful. I entered the subway. Escalators, trains rattling, faces set. I expected mystery, got commuters.

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    The flight south smelled of smoke. I think it was an Ilyushin Il-86 with pitstops in Malta and Angola before Zambia. The cabin light was tainted and it made me think about the Dennis Hopper movie, The American Way. Not sure how that translates politically. I had three seats to myself and stretched out, half proud of my luck, half suspicious that I was missing some obvious reason.

    Luanda airport was concrete and confusion. The Soviet planes looked half alive, half abandoned. I wandered, trying not to look lost, convinced I was passing as worldly. Lusaka, in contrast, felt carefully polite, the hotel a stage set with curtains drawn. I told myself it was diplomacy, not just another stopover.

    Harare. A friend met me, steered me through the tangle of papers and stamps. We ate at Wendy’s. I walked through the wrong entrance and silence fell, the kind that sticks. My friend explained. I understood. I also knew I would walk back out without consequence. That is the part that made me uneasy. The weight of eyes was brief. The privilege stayed.

    Mutare, the border. Shoprite just before the gate, shelves full, as though nothing beyond could touch them. Then the Beira Corridor. A fuel truck burned into black metal, the smoke long gone but the carcass left behind. A little further on, another vehicle, also charred and silent. At the checkpoint, soldiers. One hardly older than a boy. The rifle looked oversized against his frame, yet it was clear he had already learned how to carry it. That image has stayed with me, refusing to fade.

    Chimoio. Checkpoints, sudden bursts of movement. At night people slipped in, filled schools, then vanished by morning. From the balcony the tracer fire scratched lines in the sky. I told myself it was far, a spectacle on the horizon. It wasn’t. The civil war pressed against the edges of everything. Burned vehicles by the roadside, houses left hollow, fields marked by silence. I moved outside of it, never inside, protected by foreign skin and papers. The violence did not touch me. I could not tell who was on which side, or if sides still mattered. The land carried scars that spoke of children with rifles, of broken families, orphans of stories too raw to fit into words. It all unfolded at the margins of the Cold War, shadowed by apartheid across the border. I remained outside, uneasy, both seeing and not seeing.

    Christmas in Vila Manica. The turkey had been stolen by soldiers, or so the story went. Hungry men, hungry villages, a civil war pressing on the land, yet I remained untouched, protected by papers, skin, and circumstance. Another turkey appeared, late, roasted. We ate under a roof, the rain a solid wall beside us. The meal was good. Too good. The guilt was entirely in my head, a private reckoning with privilege, with apartheid’s shadow, with the suffering I observed but never endured. I smiled through it, trying to cope. And yet, serving food to strangers, the generosity, the warmth—this was something I had seen and admired in the cultures I had been allowed to visit. Hospitality, no matter the circumstance, remarkable and precise, a stark contrast to modern Norway, where such instinctive openness is rare. The moment itself was enough, though it carried the weight of everything outside the roof, beyond my reach.

    Morning came, gold slicing through the lingering humidity. Cats complaining, dogs arguing, roosters desperate to start the day. Life insisting itself into the quiet. This was my first real journey, which spilled onward into post-Rhodesian Zimbabwe. In some ways I never came back. The second half of the trip waits somewhere in memory, unvisited, a chapter hovering on the edges of understanding, fragile, unfinished, almost unreal.

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