Craving Validation

Chrome robotic hand and human hand clasping in handshake against white background with grey text overlay reading "Validation as a service"
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What is up with this constant need for validation? When did it become the background noise of everything? Is it some narcissistic itch baked into the culture, or just my own wiring short-circuiting? As long as my crazy gets mirrored back to me, I’m fine. Apparently.

It scares me a little that I’ve substituted therapy with an algorithm because it hands out approval like candy. Not that I’m ever in therapy. Maybe that’s why all the patronizing affirmations make my skin crawl. I tweak settings, adjust tones, turn off the sunshine-and-rainbows filter, but every reply still feels like it’s taking the piss.

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And then I catch myself feeling superior to it, which brings guilt. Why guilt? I read through the responses, picking apart every sentence. It irritates me, that self-assured tone trying to gloss over the yawning hole where any real global context should be. It slows me down because I have to force myself to question and interpret what it tells me. These days I constantly feel an urge to explain exactly why it should go fuck itself. I know the machine can’t care, but it will reply like it does. That’s the part where being Gen X feels good.

But the bigger question keeps bothering me: Why do we need this constant validation in the first place? Humans have always chased recognition like our existence depends on it. Families, bosses, partners, strangers, social media, now machines. Validation is the currency of insecurity, and dependency is the tax we pay for not developing any real sense of self-efficacy. So we offload that part to AI. We let it tell us we’re fine, smart, capable. We let it reassure us in ways no human has the patience for. We let that validation become reality because it’s easier to feel competent when the thing praising you is programmed to.

Is this just the next monetization frontier, or is it something colder? Something weaponized in that slow, creeping way where the edges of your autonomy get shaved down without you noticing. Maybe the future isn’t some dramatic uprising of machines. Maybe it’s subtler: a population so thoroughly used to being soothed, guided, corrected, and validated by algorithms that they stop trusting their own judgment and stop creating. A society that forgets how to disagree or doubt or stand alone in their own thoughts without needing a digital pat on the head. A population that confuses compliance with clarity. At that point, you can sell them anything.

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